Pirates of the Caribbean 2 - Dead Man's Chest

Review by: Evans

Hey, did you hear about the new pirate movie coming out? Its rated AAARRRRRGH!!
A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R G H!

Wow that took a loooooong time. So did this movie. Seems like they didn't follow the great advice of Jim Sheridan, writer and director of "In America" (one of the greatest movies of all time). Perhaps the only "perfect" movie out there. Perfect meaning that there is not one thing I would change about that movie. Anyway, that advice is - don't worry about whether or not you have enough in the movie, worry about whether you've taken enough out. That was the main problem with Pirates and why I didn't like it so much. There was too much that seemed like nothing in the grand scheme of things. Let's run down the list.

Issue #1 - too long
This movie was really all set-up for the third. That's all fine and good, but did you really need to take this long? C'mon! I am under the opinion that you should never have anything in your movie that doesn't mean anything in the big picture. I felt like I was watching filler. There is no worse feeling for movie goers in my humble opinion. To sit and wait and wait and
wait for something to happen only to find out that nothing happens = pain.They brought closure to nothing.

Issue #2 - Capt. Jack
He was a bit too silly. Now I know this is sort of a movie for kids, or at least I think it is. The whole Disney relationship instantly tends to lean it towards wanting to be a little more kid friendly, but it seems the only way they did that was with Capt. Jack being silly. Silly is ok, but this was over-the-top. Like 3 Stooges WOO WOO WOO. It was the scene where Capt.
Jack was running on the beach that got me. Actually it was probably the entire "natives" sequence. It was just not necessary for the movie.

Issue #3 - Orlando Bloom
How can anyone take this guy seriously? There are better pirate mustaches on 7th graders.

Now let me clarify a bit. Overall, Johnny Depp plays a great character in Capt. Jack. I saw him on Letterman the other night and he said that people were actually a bit concerned with how he was playing Capt. Jack. Some even wondering if he was actually drunk. The drunkenness and mumbling adds a nice quality to CJ, but again the silly side of CJ in this film seemed like overacting which is never good unless you are Ace Ventura.

Until the final installment comes out and lets me know whether or not this movie was worth it, I gotta say no. But if you must go see this, then do yourself a favor and refresh with the first one again if you're like me and don't remember all the little details.

Hey, did you hear about the new pirate movie coming out? Its rated AAARRRRRGH!!

Until that day,

EVANS = "not to see"

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